My Phone is a Wondrous Device

My phone is a wondrous device

And the people who call me are nice.

Like the salesman who offered to board all my loft

And that nice engineer from Microsoft.

That guy who's not fazed when I tell him I'm glazed

And that accident claim where my memory is lame.

...

I'm sorry my dear it's a spoiler

When I say I don't need a new boiler

And that competition that you've made your mission

To sell me a ticket - I'm sure I can't pick it.

..

And I'd sure like to thank, the man from my bank

Who said my account had been hacked.

I gave him my password and all of my codes

Who knows where my money's now stacked?

..

I'm sure it's the truth that I need a new roof

And invest in that new ostrich farm

And surely I've craved for my drive to be paved

They convince me with oodles of charm.

..

Yes, my phone is a wondrous device

And the people who call me are nice.