Indestructible

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Our mam, she’s indestructible, she simply will not die
She just keeps on truckin’, no matter what we try
The poison that we give her, it is, to no avail
At ninety nine, she’s still here, and nothing does she ail
When we bumped her wheelchair, and she landed on the floor
Not a bone was broken, she just shook her fist and swore
We tried abandoning her, whilst shopping, and left her all alone
Then she chatted up a policeman, who sadly brought her home
We thought we’d pay a hit man, to completely do her in
But then she saw right through us, and gave him sex and gin
Next we tried starvation, and left no food to give her
Then she rang the curry house, and got them to deliver
Our mam, she’s clearly going nowhere, and will last forever
Out smart us every time, she will, as she’s wily and she’s clever
We can wave goodbye to our inheritance, alas, it has all gone
On, care home fees, chiropodists and the list goes on.
So it’s telegram territory, that we’re clearly looking at
And she will be elated, when it lands upon the mat
“It’s from the my friend, The Queen.” Is what she’ll tell us so
Dementia can be bittersweet, as I’m sure that you know
Resilient she has been, throughout, her full and active life
A fantastic mother, she has been, also a feisty wife
Honest and dependable and generous to a fault
If only we could be more like her, we’d be worth our salt.
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