Fear Faced

Dipper groaned softly as he was shaken awake. He squinted his eyes open to see Jaxson with tears in his eyes.

"Jax? What's up, buddy?" He asked, his voice scratchy and his throat dry. He was still getting over the cold the 5 year old brought home from school a week ago.

"I-I…" The boy sniffed and wiped his eyes. "I had an accident."

"Okay, buddy, come on." Dipper sat up and threw the covers off. He could see a small wet spot on the front of Jax's pajama pants.

"Let's change your pants and then we'll get new sheets. Okay?" Jax nodded and sniffed again.

Dipper took his hand and led him into the laundry room for a clean pair of pants.

"Do you want to wear a pull-up?" He asked gently.

Jax shook his head with a panicked expression. "No! No, I'm too big! I don't need them!" He was sobbing again.

"Hey, hey, hey, it's okay. Breath, Jax." Dipper pulled down a pair of pants and crouched in front of his nephew. "In and out like we showed you, okay? In… out. Good." Jax followed his instructions, whimpering softly as he tried to slow his breathing. "Here, step out of these." Dipper helped him out of his pants and tossed them in the hamper. He changed his underwear and pants and picked him up.

"Keep breathing, buddy." He instructed softly as he walked down the hall to his room.

He set Jax down on the plush armchair and started stripping the mattress. Thankfully, they hadn't removed the mattress cover yet and didn't need to worry about looking for a new toddler mattress. He changed the sheets and remade the bed quickly, all the while Jax was still crying quietly.

"Okay, there we go!" Dipper smiled at his work, sneezed, and turned back to his nephew.

"Thank you." Jax whispered.

Dipper softened instantly. "Come on, let's let Sparky out." He offered his hand and Jax took it with a sniff.

Soon, the two were sitting on the backyard swinging couch watching the foster puppy search for a place to do his business.

They were quiet until Jax spoke up. "I don't wanna wear pull-ups again." He murmured.

"I understand. Can I tell you what would happen?" Dipper asked. The boy shook his head. "Okay." Dipper backed off and kept an eye on Sparky.

His mind was whirling, but also still delayed from sleep. He knew Jax was embarrassed, but he also knew it was completely out of his nephew's control. It was a side effect of his heart medication. Of course, Jax knew that, but he still probably though it was something he did.

Something he could fix.

"Uncle Dipper?"

"Hmm?"

"Can you tell me what would happen?" Jax finally asked, his voice small.

Dipper shifted so he could tuck him into his side for a cuddle. "Well, you would only have to wear them at night, okay? Because during the day you can choose to get up and go to the bathroom, right? Nobody would know you're wearing them except for you, me, and Uncle Monty." He explained gently. Jax was quiet for a long time.

Sparky bounded over to them and launched himself onto the swing to flop in the boy's lap. Dipper chuckled and scratched the puppy's neck.

Jax coughed and soothed his hand down Sparky's stomach. "I wanna wear a pull-up." He whispered. Dipper felt a surge of relief. "But just at night!" Jax added frantically.

"Just at night." Dipper nodded in agreement.

"Okay." Jax yawned.

They went back inside and Dipper put Sparky back in his crate before taking Jax to the bathroom. He changed, tried not to cry again, and let Dipper take him back to
bed.

"Goodnight, buddy. I'm proud of you." Dipper whispered as he stroked his hair.

Jax yawned again, his eyelids drooping. "G'night, Uncle… Dipper." He murmured. Dipper chuckled softly and kissed his forehead before leaving, closing the door behind him. He trudged down the hall towards his own bedroom.

"Baby?" Dipper jumped nearly a foot in the air at the sound of his spouse's voice. Monty stifled a laugh. "Sorry." They muttered with a soft smirk. They were standing in the kitchen with the microwave light on a glass of water in one hand.

Dipper huffed, smiling sleepily. "You scared me."

"I can see that. Everything okay?"

"Jax had an accident again. I convinced him to wear a pull-up tonight. Hopefully we can get that carried over into every night." Dipper explained, massaging the bridge of his nose. Monty set their glass down, opened their arms and Dipper happily tucked himself into their chest.

"Good job, baby." Monty kissed the top of his head and Dipper sighed.

"I feel so bad for him. It's the meds, but I think he thinks it's his fault."

"Poor, kid." Monty murmured. "But I know you did great with him." They added, reaching up to stroke Dipper's hair.

Dipper hummed. "I still think it's crazy we basically have a kid." He said softly. He'd never really wanted kids.

Ever since his own parents died, he'd had a deep rooted fear that if he had his own kids he would die and leave them. But here he was, taking care of 5 year old with his spouse going on four years now. He loved Jaxson like he was his own son. So did Monty. Jax was Monty's brother's son. His mom had passed in childbirth when Jax was born too early. Jax had also been born with a hole in his heart. He'd had surgery to close it, but over the years his heart had weakened to the point that he was on daily medications.

It was tough having a medically complicated kid. Jax was more susceptible to getting sick due to being immunosuppressed, and since his heart functioned slower than the average person, he had trouble getting oxygen and keeping up with kids his age. It made it tough for him to make friends he could keep up with. Thankfully, Monty and Dipper's best friends had two girls Jax's age who knew how to slow down for him.

Dipper wished he could make things easier for Jax. The boy knew he was different, he knew his heart was special, but he didn't fully understand that how it made him different and how it hindered his life daily. Their poor baby was so sweet. He didn't deserve the challenges he did and would eventually have to face.

"Come on, let's get you to bed." Dipper hadn't realized he'd been dozing against their chest until Monty rubbed his back to get him to stand up. The two wandered back into bed and Monty gathered Dipper up and tucked him into their chest.

"I love you, Dip. I'm proud of you." They murmured.

"Hmm? Why? What'd I do?" Dipper asked groggily, shoving his face into the crook of Monty's neck.

"You take care of Jax like he's your own kid and I know you're scared. But I'm proud of you for not letting your fear get in between you two." Monty explained, rubbing his back. Dipper's eyes filled with tears.

"I know he's our nephew, but I think we make pretty great dads. You especially, you've bloomed into an amazing dad, even if Jax won't call us his dads." Monty whispered, his voice rough.

Dipper squeezed his eyes shut and tried not to let the sob in his throat out. "Thanks, love." His voice was shaky and small.

"I love you, Dipper."

"I love you, Monty." Monty kissed the top of his head and held him tighter. Dipper gripped the back of their sleep shirt. Monty was right.

They were basically Jax's dads. His real dad was almost never around and the two of them had witnessed most all of Jax's firsts. His first steps, words, school days.

Dipper's heart suddenly stuttered. He had a son. A son he would honestly kill for. A son he loved with all his heart. A son. He was a dad. He'd become a dad without even realizing it and faced his biggest fear he'd had since he was nine.

Dipper was a dad.