Magnetic Smile

There's a fear in my heart that overrides a lot that makes me... me. I suppose that's the flight in fight or flight. Don't get me wrong, I don't run from things that make me scared but, with this fear specifically, I tend to run away from me.

I'm not much of a fighter. I've seen so much of it growing up that I was relieved when my parents finally got a divorce. But that's a different story. This story isn't about them, but it's not about me either - but we'll get to that.

Fight or flight! As I was saying, I'm not much of a fighter, and running away isn't an option either. I negotiate. I see a scary situation and I find my way around it. But this is one I have to go straight through.

The day I met her was the first day of spring. The public pools had opened that day for the season, and the weather was perfect for it. The moment I saw her was the moment I realised that love wasn't the issue in my parent's marriage, they were. Specifically, them together. Up until that moment, I never wanted to fall in love. Until then, love meant arguments and fights, and a lot of unhappiness.

It was her smile! I couldn't understand how someone could smile so fully, as if every muscle of her face smiled with her. And when she laughed - although the first time I saw it, I couldn't hear it - it was infectious, to a point that I found myself laughing along to a joke I didn't know.

She turned that smile on everyone, as if seeing them personally made her day better, even if she didn't know them. And when she caught me staring, she smiled as if she knew life had already changed.

It was so magnetic that we stood up at the same time and walked towards each other. She introduced herself as Sara, and asked if I came to the pools often. I said every weekend and almost everyday after school, if they were open. She said good, then she'll get to see me almost everyday. I was excited at the thought of seeing her often, and even more so knowing she wanted to see me too.

That was four years ago and now fear grips me at the back of my neck. This is not me as a teenager experiencing a life changing event. This is me as an adult walking into a life changing event. When I see her for the first time today, she smiles as if she's always known that this was the moment I'd ask her to marry me.

The magneticism of her smile draws my lips to hers, and when we eventually pull apart and I ask the question, she answers as if she'd been ready to answer for four years.

She says yes.