The End Of The World

THE END OF THE WORLD

The official announcement was across all media platforms. The world would end the following day, Tuesday 1st May 2300.

When Aubrey heard the news, he decided that he would end his days in bed with the things he loved most – his dog, Bertie, 3 packets of custard cream biscuits, 6 cans of Guinness and 2 giant bags of cheese and onion crisps.

There was nothing else he cared about. He was alone in the world, with no friends. As far as he was concerned, the sooner the better. The one place he cherished was his bed. It was the best place to be when his life expired.

Aubrey decided not to watch tv or listen to the radio. What would be the point? It would only consist of “experts” discussing the imminent demise of the world, offering no consolation or hope to those who were currently in despair. Even now, he could hear people shouting, weeping, screaming and wailing as night descended. He considered such reactions to be a waste of time, as well as unedifying. He would stay in bed, enjoy his favourite things and stroke Bertie until the End.

Being so stoic was a tiring process. It quite wore him out. Before long, his eyelids began to droop and he felt ready for a nap. He finished off his custard creams, drank another Guinness and drifted into sleep.

He awoke to the sounds of cheering. Sunshine streamed through the window. Looking out, he saw that people were in the street, hugging and dancing.

Aubrey groggily made his way downstairs and opened the front door, stopping a man who was passing.

“Wassup?” Aubrey asked.

The man stared at him before saying, “Where the hell have yer been? Haven’t you heard?”

“Heard what?”

A further display of incredulity followed before the man replied.

“That end of the world thing. Load of cobblers. Seems some AI went rogue and got it all wrong. People are smashing all the bloody things up. We’re better off without them. Frightened us all to death. And good riddance!”

The man danced off towards another group of people and Aubrey gazed after him, saying nothing.

He went inside and closed the door with a slam, shouting loudly to no-one but himself.

“Bloody typical! Just as I was about to be really happy! Why doesn’t anything ever go right for me?”