Rising

Half past nine, London. 

My body trembles uncontrollably as though shaken by an earthquake that affects only me. Icy shivers roll down my spine like thousands of thin and pointy needles and yet I remove my jumper out of warmth, revealing my pale skin and sparkly dress. My heartbeat is accelerating by the second, and reminds me the galop of a frightened horse.

I want to hesitate, to cry for help, but the time of hesitation and weeping has past.

As I prepare myself to take a step forwards, memories flash through my mind, as fast as lightning, and every one of them strike me harder than a handful of broken glass.

A 12-year-old girl, with ginger hair and freckles, singing in an empty theatre, and bowing to an invisible audience. That same girl, being bullied by her friends on the playground, at recess. That same girl, crying out of despair in her bed, giving up on hope. That same girl, dancing to forget her troubles after a long and hard day. That same girl, comparing her past and present and how she lost so much in such a small lapse of time. And finally, that same girl, alone in a forest, wondering if she will ever find the strength to finally live out her most precious dream.

I chase the flashbacks away with the authority of a fierce she-wolf protecting her cubs.

I am no longer afraid of who I am, no longer out of hope, no longer that girl who hides in the dark waiting on a miracle.

This is my night. I am ready. No more lingering in the shadows, tonight I step into the light to reveal that secret that has been locked inside of me my whole life. I don't know what this evening will bring. Maybe my plan won't work, maybe I'll make a fool of myself.

But no, I won't. Because I was born to do this. I will go out there, conquer their hearts, share my voice with the world, to lift spirits and brighten days. I have always been told that life is too short to be wasted by insecurity and doubts. Well today I make my stand. Today I decide who I want to be regardess what everyone else thinks. This is my new dawn, my chance to shine, and no one can take that away from me.

A small smile appears on my face when I notice how stereotyped my thoughts are. But does it really matter? My body has stopped quavering, my pulse has steadied.

My smile expands, and with the confidence of a phoenix, I walk on the stage.

Their hearts are mine to win.