Learned Behaviours

The little girl watches as her mother skillfully gathers origami folds of fabric, tossing them into the air and then releasing them from her fingertips to gently billow down over the bed. She inhales the warm scents of lavender and sunshine, conjuring the garden, and her mother smiles at her as they each hold a side and pull it drum tight.

The little boy sits on his father’s knee, secure inside his strong arms, and absorbing the ‘once upon a time’ tales of courage and heroism, bravery and battles. He learns that he should grow up to be strong and bold, and to speak up to protect those who have no voice. Outside at play, he struts in a tea towel cloak, cheeks aflame with pride, blue bruise badges and grazed knee medals.

The girl sees how her mother draws a cloud of cloth over the table, carefully stroking the folds over the corners. She feels the slubbed linen fibres under her own fingers as together they carefully lay out the food they have prepared. The family gratefully gathers around to share the little they have: food and love, warmth and safety.

Older now, the boy listens to the menfolk of the neighbourhood and the boastful bragging of the older sons. He finds out that sometimes you have to fight to protect what is important: hearth and home, family and friends, country and beliefs. The young men bloody each other’s faces and scab their knuckles knowingly. They laugh at the pain and punch and joke at their own pantomime, play-acting grown-ups.

Years later, the boy, now a man, returns from the war. The girl, now a woman, knows just how to drape the flag over his coffin.