Daydreams

Full, cotton wool sized clouds above hovering over me in an almost mocking stance as if to ask, why are you still there? Follow us, follow as we fly across the bountiful skies to faraway lands. Follow us to new adventures that your tired addled mind can only dream about. I close my weary eyes and in a breath taking moment, I am transported and my senses become heightened as I imagine the sun kissed air greeting my skin. The sound of waves crashing against a shoreline that I have seen many times in my dreams and as I release my pent up breath, I feel the tension lift from my shoulders. I hear music interwined with my surroundings; a beat that reaches down into my soul and rises again like a bird swooping and soaring. I feel an unexplainable excitement begin to take hold and the air begin to reverberate with the electricity of the sensation. All at once, I feel more free than I have in a long time and I can almost reach out to grab a sense of peace that had almost been out of reach for some years. I smile and feel like I could take flight myself.

All of a sudden, I hear a noise that seems to fracture my vision around me and as I tentatively open my eyes, I gaze down to a pair of worn, faded hands before the realisation dawns on me, that these hands now belong to me. I study each line, each bend and mark as if they are narrators of a stranger's time and as my gaze lifts, I see the impervious but invisible bars of my cage. The cage that holds me captive but resides in my mind and the rage begins to bubble under the surface before surrendering to a bone weary fatigue that encapsulates me like a cloak. I gaze once more at the beauty of the clouds and the temptation of faraway adventures are mourned once more as I shuffle to the next room, my head feeling heavy with the insurmountable never ending tasks.

The beauty that I had thought was life, was more fleeting than I realised and the current version of me, mourned the ignorant bliss of the carefree, younger me.