The Tender Blooms

I waited by my front door, fingers playing absentmindedly with my sleeve, twisting and pulling on the clean, white fabric. The rays of evening twilight bled through the gauzy curtains, seeping across my floor. My hands shook as I clutched the bouquet of peonies tighter. The vibrant pink almost glowed in the low light.

I was going to tell her tonight.

The doorbell rang.

I straightened quickly, frantically dashing down the stairs. I slipped on a step, able to reach out for the railing before disaster could strike. Good. I fixed my shirt before making my way down the rest of the stairs as if nothing had happened at all. I opened the door.

And there she was, standing at my doorstep, hands clasped shyly in front of her, dark hair dancing in the breeze, eyes filled with an innocence that had slowly been killing me since the day we became friends.

Violet

I barely had time to think before she jumped in to my arms, wrapping herself around me like a vine about a tree. Suddenly, every coherent thought in my head vanished just like that. All I could think about was the way her body fit perfectly against mine, the way she smelled of summer air and citrus, the way her skin felt like silk under my touch.

That relieved more than I cared to admit. Thank God for not falling down the stairs earlier. Just the thought of her feeling even a moment of pain sent a violent rush through me.

It often surprised me how protective I got over her. I hadn't even realised that I'd zoned out until I felt a warm hand on my face, jolting me back to reality.

She had this worried look on her face, eyes shining with concern as her hand rested lightly against my cheek. God, if looks could kill, I'd be six feet underground already.

"Hey, James", she called out, voice soft, laced with a hint of sadness. "Are you alright? You look so far away".

The thing about Violet was that when she spoke to me with that voice, it made it impossible for me to speak anything but the truth.

"I'm fine", I promised her, forcing a tight smile on my face as to not worry her. "I'm just-" I sighed, piecing the words together. "I'm really happy to be here right now. With you."

The smile that graced her face after I said that was the very equivalent of sunshine peeking through the clouds on a rainy day.

"Good," she whispered, hugging me even tighter, face pressed in to my chest, "I'm happy to be with you too."

This girl...

Her hand felt tiny in mine as we walked through the busy streets, bustling crowds, blinding lights, all of that meant nothing to me. Not when all I was focused on was Violet, chattering away like she hadn't a care in the world. Her eyes sparkled with joy and her laughter filled my head like a song on repeat.

All around us, we saw people passing by, flowers sprouted from their skin, reminders of the connection between soulmates in our world.

Violet smiled. "Isn't that beautiful?"

I asked her what she meant. She tugged on my arms gesturing to the people around us, their skin littered with petals and shoots.

"The flowers, silly!", she exclaimed, her hand running down her arm as if making a point. "Like imagine, your soulmate's in pain, you feel it too, you never let them suffer alone. That's so beautiful, don't you think so?"

No, I wanted to say. But instead I smiled, chuckling at her rather sweet take on this curse that plagued humankind.

She gazed up at me with a dreamy look in her eyes, examining me with unbelievably cute concentration.

"Your soulmate must be rather careful," she remarked after a moment. "I can't see a single flower on you."

I went quiet. She had no idea. Did it never occur to her how I only ever wore full sleeves? How I never took my shirt off when we went to the beach, how I refused to let her treat my injured leg despite it hurting like crazy.

My soulmate was far from careful.

She didn't seem to notice my sudden quietness for she continued. "I often feel a bit guilty when I think about my soulmate," she said in a thoughtful tone. "Poor guy's body must look like a garden!"

She was right. My body was a garden. Not that she could see though. I wasn't the kind of guy to make her feel bad for being clumsy. But whenever I felt a new pinprick sensation on my arms or legs or my back, making way for a foreign growth on my body, I felt sad. She got hurt so often. I hated that.

She noticed my bitter expression and caressed the crease between my brows.

But knowing Violet, if her eyes weren't on the path, disaster would follow.

I heard her gasp before seeing the way her body lurched forward. I was too late. Her body crumpled to the ground before she sat up. I felt my ankle tingle, a violet pain exploding through my joint. I felt my skin split, my blood spill, thorns clawing at my skin. I clenched my jaw so hard I though it was going to shatter.

But all that disappeared when I saw the tears forming in her eyes. I pushed the pain aside, kneeling before her. Her ankle had swollen quite drastically, the bruising faintly visible beneath her black stockings. Her eyes were red, avoiding mine entirely, lashes clumping together, cheeks wet, lip quivering. I felt awful.

I didn't even think; I just wrapped my arms around her with a steadiness that betrayed the turmoil in my heart. She clung to me instantly, arms tight around my neck like a vice, face buried in to my chest. I felt her tears soaking my shirt immediately. I sighed, chest tightening painfully.

I unlocked the door to her apartment and let myself in. I carried her to her living room and gently lowered her on to her sofa. I dashed in to her kitchen and wet a clean kitchen towel under the sink. I wrung out the excess water and rushed back to Violet. I avoided all eye contact as I knelt before her, carefully pressing the compress to her swollen ankle. She let out a soft cry and I instinctively softened the press of my fingers.

"It hurts James," she whispered weakly, eyes fluttering closed, hands tightening their grip on the fabric of the sofa.

I know Darling. I'll make it better. I promise.

I lowered my forehead to her knee, exhaling deeply.

"I know Violet," I clenched my teeth, "I'm sorry. I should've been paying more attention to you."

Her gaze whipped to mine, eyes wide with something I didn't quite recognise. She cupped my face in both her hands. My skin burned from the contact.

"Don't say that!" she scolded, voice still slightly hoarse from how much she'd cried earlier. "How could you even think it was your fault?"

I closed my eyes hearing the pain in her voice.

No matter what I did, I always seemed to hurt her.

"You should go home now James," she said, her voice pulling me out of my drowning thoughts. "It's getting late and I don't want to keep you here."

I shook my head. "No," I stated bluntly, "I can't leave you like this. You're in pain and I-"

"James," her soft voice gently interrupted. A small smile appeared on her face, as if trying to reassure me. "I'll be fine. I promise. You've done so much for me. You must be tired. Go home. Please."

She leaned in slowly, softly pressing her lips to my forehead. My heart exploded. Had Violet, the girl I’d been in love with for years, kissed me?

“Go home,” she pleaded softly, her lips brushing my skin, “For me.”

I would've tried to argue again but the way she had begged me stopped me before I could say anything else. I swallowed my pride and got up. My knees ached from how long I'd been kneeling in front of her.

Violet winced. "My knees feel a bit funny," she remarked, itching absentmindedly at her skin beneath her tights. A tiny sprout emerged from the black fabric. She smiled.

"Oh!" she exclaimed, joy filling her eyes. “My first flower!”

My eyes darted to her knee. I internally cursed at myself. How could I let this happen to her?

I stumbled through my front door, shrugging my jacket off, toeing my shoes off, walking to my kitchen to pour myself a drink.

The radio was singing from its place on the marble counter. Of course. In my hurry to leave the house earlier, I’d forgotten to turn it off.

There wasn’t much on the counter; only a bottle of whiskey my coworker had given me last month for my birthday. I screwed the lid off and poured myself a glass.

I downed the liquid in one gulp, the drink burning my throat.

I didn’t usually drink. But for some reason, tonight it felt necessary.

My phone suddenly vibrated in my back pocket. I checked the lockscreen. It was Violet.

I smiled upon seeing her name.

I clicked on her message. Her text was long. My smile widened. Violet had always had a way with words. It was like she suddenly became Shakespeare the moment she something to say.

Hi James!

I hope you reached home safely. Thank you so much for carrying me all the way home. You really didn’t have to but you did. I don’t know what I’d do without you! I’m sorry for ruining our night out. I should’ve been more careful. Damn my clumsiness. No one has ever cared for me the way you do and I am so grateful to know someone as amazing as you. I honestly don’t know how you’ve managed to put up with me and my antics for so long! Have a good night and I swear I’ll make tonight up to you. Perhaps dinner next Saturday? On me? Say you’ll let me?

Thank you again for everything James!

Love you lots, best friend!

My smile vanished, my head blanked, my heart sank.

Best friend?

After everything? Leaping in to my arms every time we met, holding my hand wherever we walked, touching me in places I let no one else touch me, carrying her home whenever she got hurt, feeling her cry against my chest, her kissing me on the forehead.

All of that and still just best friends?

The pain exploded in my chest, my heart shattering.

My chest burned, my heart consumed by the flames of my unrequited love.

My knees buckled as my hand reached for the counter. My glass slid off the marble, shattering in to small, jagged fragments. The remnants of the amber liquid seeped across the floor.

My body crumpled to the floor. I felt the shoots piercing my skin, tearing my flesh apart as they consumed by body. The petals slowly consumed my body like little parasites, eating every part of me until all that remained was my corpse, scattered by a litany of flowers, the ashes of my love for a girl who’d never return it.

I could hear my phone vibrating on the counter still. Violet.

Oh Violet.

I closed my eyes as the final notes from the kitchen radio sounded.

It was her favourite song. The Everly Brothers.

“Love hurts, love scars, love wounds, and mars”