Attention to Detail

When the McNulty brothers call you to a meeting - you go, and you'd better be on time. They rule the criminal fraternity in this town with a reputation for intimidation and violence. Frank, the brains of the outfit, and brother Eric, his neanderthal enforcer. Ok, I'll admit I'm no innocent party myself. I'm a career criminal, but I'm a craftsman see. Ask anyone this side of the river and they'll have heard of me - Jim 'Jimbo' Adams. A master forger who prides himself on attention to detail.

So it was with some trepidation that I stepped into the Crown & Sceptre pub to be directed to a tobacco-smoke filled back room - the domain of the notorious McNulty brothers.

"Hello Frank, I heard you wanted to see me" I said nervously."

"It's your lucky day Jimbo, I'm going to put a bit of business your way"

"Now look in that trunk over there" he grinned.

Heaven help me if it was going to contain a body he wanted me to dispose of. But no, to my relief and surprise the trunk contained banknote printing paper, printing ink, and beautifully engraved printing plates. I whipped out my jeweller's eye glass and scrutinised every detail.

"These are perfect £20 note plates, Frank. Where did you get them from"?

"Let's just say someone in trade owes me a favour" he said solemnly

"But here's the problem, Jimbo, I need them back in the next 24 hours. So get this lot off to your scummy hovel where you keep that printing press, get me a load of dosh printed off, and keep a couple of grand for yourself. I want it all back here in 24 hours. Oh, just so you don't get any ideas, brother Eric will be going with you."

I looked at Eric and gave him a faint smile of recognition, but then I remembered, Eric doesn't do smiles.

Back at my 'scummy hovel' I busied myself setting up the printing press. Despite Eric getting in my way and being impatient, I eventually got the sheets for the first side rattling off the press. I carefully examined every sheet with my eyeglass for any flaws. Attention to detail is my mantra. A lot could go wrong. Any small blur, colour difference or misalignment would instantly show them up as the forgeries that they were. Nothing gets past me, it all looked perfect. Even Eric was getting very excited at seeing the notes and insisted on working the printer himself. To appease him, I let him feed the paper into the printer for the second sides. Again I checked every sheet coming off. Again, perfect detail.

With the printing completed, I cut the sheets into individual notes, bundled them up, and put my share straight into my safe. Then Eric took the McNulty share and the printing plates and departed without any goodbye, well done, or any gratitude. I was tired so went off to bed for a well earned rest.

When your front door comes off it's hinges with a loud bang, you know it's the local constabulary inviting themselves in with their big red key. It was a classic "get yer trousers on, your nicked" and so I found myself sitting in the interview room facing a familiar adversary - Detective Inspector Bill 'Biffer' Barnes.

"Well, Jimbo, it looks like you're in trouble from both sides. We've got the McNulty brothers in custody, and they've been telling me about some very dodgy £20 notes you've palmed off on them - they are not happy bunnies at the moment".

He thrust a bundle of notes towards me. "Exhibit A", he said laughing out loud. "Honestly Jimbo, I didn't expect you of all people to turn out rubbish like this".

I'm in shock. Every one of those notes was in perfect detail. I pulled out one note from the bundle, got my eyeglass out and examined it for any minute imperfections. I could see none. "These are perfect, I'd stake my reputation on it" I said to a still grinning Inspector.

"Put that eyeglass away and have a proper look, Jimbo. You shouldn't have let Eric feed the paper into the printer. All the reverse sides are upside down"!