Acceptance

I tried to pick up my phone but my fingers passed straight through. 

What the hell.

I tried again, nothing. 

‘Sucks, doesn’t it?’ A voice called from behind.

I turned. A pale woman sat upon the curb in an oversized black hoodie, knees pulled into her chest. Long midnight hair spilling from beneath a raised hood, her face lost in shadow.

‘What sucks?’ I asked.

‘Dying.’

Great, a bored emo. ‘Who are you? The Grim Reaper? I scoffed. 

‘Humans always expect a scythe and a long cloak.’

‘I’d expect someone a bit… bonier.’

‘Charming.’ 

I flicked a dismissive hand. ‘Don’t you have a graveyard to go hang out in?

‘Interesting, your mind went to the grave.’ She stood. ‘Have you accepted your death? 

‘I am not dead.’

‘Denial, the first stage.’

Something moved in my periphery.

‘I am not in denial!’ My shout echoed.

‘Anger, the second stage. We’re moving along nicely.’

I turned away. ‘If I give you a quid will you piss off?’ 

‘Bargaining, stage three.’

‘Oh come on!’

The sound was close, too close, but it was muffled as if it came from a great distance. An ambulance hurtled towards me. Muted blue and white lights flashed quickly. I only had a moment to shut my eyes. A sensation of cold wind rushed through me. I opened one eye to see the empty street.

The ambulance stopped about twenty meters away, a crowd had formed. Their outlines were hazy, flickering shadows. Being a curious soul, I went to get a closer look. I saw a man lying at an odd angle. He had the same bike helmet as I did. Same jumper. Same jeans. 

‘No… it can’t be.’

‘I am sorry,’ 

‘But I still have so much to do, to achieve, to see.’

She placed a hand lightly on my shoulder. 'Everyone always does.’ 

‘Please…’ I looked up to the heavens. ‘I need more time.’

‘Everyone always does.’

‘Stop saying that!’

‘Sorry, no matter how many times I do this, I never get it right.’

‘What about my friends, my family? They need me.’

‘They’ll hurt for a time but that’s what it is to be mortal. There is no life without death. No love without grief. One day you’ll see them again. But now you need to make a decision.’

No tears would form. ‘Decide what?’ 

‘To stay here, in this… place.’ For the first time I noticed that all the colour of the world had faded. ‘Or come with me and embrace the next life.’

My chest tightened, contracting lungs that were no longer functional. 

‘I am scared.’

‘Everyone always is… sorry.’

‘What do I have to do?

‘Complete the cycle.’

I looked back at my body and the fading world one last time.

‘What if I can't?’

‘Take all the time you need, I will show you the way.’

After a pause, we walked into the light.