A Promise in the Dark

My eyes lurked and followed any shadow, looking for anything, something, someone to done come up and take it away or come tell me it's some looney joke or a bit, or that it's real.

Trudging up the steps, I carefully lifted my foot and successfully passed that devil of a step that was crooked and unlevel, unlike the rest. I held on to the wonky railing as if it would actually save a life if one had fallen.

I opened up on the door and quickly closed it as I came. With the snap of the lock, I finally let out a shaky breath. 

“Ma!”

Dashing towards Ma’s room, I got down on my knees at the front of the bed.

“Ma…”

I gently shook her. “Ma!”

“Boy..?” 

Ma’’s voice was hoarse and tired, if the bags under her eyes. 

“Ma was wrong! We lucky!” I leaned up.

Only I knew the truth, with whisper I said “If you had 200 dollars.. What would you…?”

“If I had 200 dollars, I had done put down a down payment, finally pay back some old folks, finally put some food on the table and spend the rest on you…”

Ma said her smile faded as her sunken eyes reappeared, she caressed my cheek, her hand hardened over the years  but still the soften hands I’ve ever known. 

“Remember this boy, no matter how much dough you got, it will never change the color of your skin” Ma gave me that sad smile, the smile she has on for many days.

“Ma…” 

Blinking. I reached down into my pocket and put the still wet bills onto Ma’s hand.

Ma sounded I'm upset. “Boy. Don’t go wasting on me.” 

“Promise me!”

“I promise...”

She caressed my cheek one more time.